What is
Ultima Online 2?
Ultima Online 2 is the next Persistent State World from the company that created Ultima
Online. Born from the lust for cash, Ultima Online 2 will push the boundaries of greed and
ignorance. What is a Persistent State World?
Also referred to as a PSW, a Persistent State World is a virtual Internet world that you
co-inhabit with thousands of other assholes simultaneously. It’s persistent in that
the world exists independent from common sense and in that your actions can permanently
piss other people off. The fact that you are annoying other real people from around the
globe adds a level of immersion that must be experienced to be believed.
There will literally be people from around the globe playing?
Yes. and there will be thousands of japs, fags, rednecks,
morons and losers simultaneously vying to "r0x j00."
What about UO2 is going to make it great?
In the most general terms, UO2 is going to be great because
Garriot is going to be able to build yet another castle. Everyone
in the office will get a raise and Starr Long (what kind of
dope smoking, Frank Zappa music listening ex-hippes name their
kid "Starr" anyways??) will be able to trade his
74 Dodge Duster in on a r33t new 00' Neon. More specifically,
it will set a new standard for the lack of customer support.
Using the latest in 3D technology, GM's can tell you "I
am sorry but I cannot help you with that," in dazzling
new text. The UO2 team boasts unprecedented online game design
experience. They all played PONG via LAN for 15 minutes in
our office, and we hired them based on that stunning demonstration
alone.
What are some of the things I’ll be able to do in the
game?
The possibilities are truly endless:Looting towers, PKing
adventuring parties and EVing liche lords for karma. Gather
enough wealth to macro up your resist and only then will you
be l33t. Battle monsters (at least they dont Kal Ort Por),
or compete and fight against fellow players (just be sure
to kill them before they Kal Ort Por). Become a master craftsman
by macroing valuable trade skills such as tailoring or cooking.
Master the art of magic and enlighten young apprentices with
a Corp Por to their heads.
I’m new to this type of game, will there be help
provided?
Absolutely not. On top of a full-time staff that could give a rats ass about you, we have
a wonderful tutorial that will teach you how to tailor skullcaps and battle fierce rabbits
with your newbie sword.
Will I be able to go on quests?
UO2 will feature a robust 'quest engine', however you will have better odds of shitting a
jeweled muskrat than getting it to work. The culmination of these quests is the Path of
the Avatar, but in absence of that you can walk the patch of the L33t Hax0r DewD
where players can choose to live by stealing uo.cfg files from fellow players.
What kind of characters will I be able to play?
There are 3 distinct fantasy races in UO2, including Newbie, PK and Town Fag. Playing as
one of these races, you are free to choose what class of character you want to develop
through an innovative point-based role-playing system. Be aware that Town Fags are only
permitted to hide near an inn and tell you how badly you suck, before running to log out.
What are the differences from the first UO?
The differences are many, however we have been too busy cashing your credit cards to
devote much time to development. One of the major differences is that UO2 will also accept
personal checks, money orders, sexual favors and or/sheep as a form of payment.
Is there going to be any external testing?
There will be a series of external tests starting in the near future. Essentially we will
release UO2 telling you it it fully complete, when in all actuality you are paying us ten
bucks a month to be beta testers for us. What the hell, it worked the first time out...
What will happen with Ultima Online when UO2 ships?
Ultima Online will continue on as it has for the past 2 years, with more empty promises of
necromancy and alchemy than ever before. Sooner or later we are going to wipe all of the
shards just to piss you off, because we can.
