3/31/99

Ok peops, the time has finally arrived that I take my leave from the Hell that was once thought Heaven. I have canceled my payments to Origin as of yesterday at lunch, and I will be gone from the game April 20th. This site will most likely become more EverQuest-related, but I will still be using Ultima Online as a platform for movies and old stories of when life was good. Cichlid and I have devised an contest much like the Monopoly of McDonald's, in which everyone will have a shot at winning everything we own. Since I am only on lunchbreak, I don't have time to give you particulars, but there will certainly be a happy man or woman by April 20th upon winning all of our UO worldly possessions. Stay tuned for details on that.

To those of you who have not yet played EverQuest - I will share with you my own views on the game. Personally, to me, there has not yet been a game better. Sure I say this after 6 days of playing it, but I can tell it is not one that I am going to tire of anytime in the near future. EverQuest is an excellent game folks. It's worth spending 50 bucks for the free month of game time. Just let me remind you that when playing the game, not to look at it like UO or even attempt to compare the two games because their differences are huge. I play EverQuest feeling like I am playing an addictive Playstation game or something. It's exactly what it feels like. Then it's just like there happens to be other people who are playing the game at the same time as you which just makes it all the better. Don't play it with a powergamer attitude, and you'll find that it is a most entertaining experience. Then there's their customer support, and get this - customer support exists. When involving yourself with Ultima it becomes very easy to forget the meaning of customer support altogether. I am surprised it is still in my vocabulary. I am impressed with 989 and Verant. There have been frustrating occasions where their has been problems with the server and what not, but I remember what UO was like, the daily random timewarps, shit like that, that EverQuest just doesn't have. The communication system is excellent, graphics are incredible, but the interface can be quite annoying to get used to. However, after a day or 2 you become familiar with it. The only things I really don't like is the inability to see the numerical value of mana, nor the numerical value of your skills. All you get are adjectives for the skills and a bar for the mana - yet spell descriptions give a numerical mana cost. I ended up buying a spell that I couldn't yet use due to my mana. Given the cost of most items, especially spells, it could get very frustrating. Skills raise numerically, but you never know what number you are at until you actually raise in it. Then it will say somehting like "Alteration raised - (22), and after that happens it is easy to forget where you at. I would think these would be easy things for the dev team to fix though. A major plus for the game too is the replayability. I am completely immersed in my big stupid troll character, and am in no rush to quit playing him, but then there's so many other frigging race/class combinations that I can see myself making 40 characters across all shards and never being bored playing any of them. Face it, this game rocks. But as Miller would say, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. - Ron

3/28/99

Well I am officially "In their world now" in Everquest. Upon my first trek outside of the city walls, I found it to be a lush environment full of beautiful sights and sounds, and I was in a swamp. Upon taking about 4 steps past the light of the Troll town campfires, I met extreme resistance by a pair of angry tadpoles, who just so happened to have legs. I figured out how to look down, and to look up, and after staring at the pitiful creatures in amusement at their petite size, while attempting to figure out how to attack them (I was tiring of the "You will be much productive if you attempt to attack someone besides yourself" message I kept receiving) my laughing suddenly ceased. You see, I had yet to realize that I was in their world now. Tadpoles may be laughed at in real life for being small pathetic creatures, but I am figuring that these here tadpoles in their world turn into some shitkicking frogs. Let's take a look at some of the action.

Needless to say, I soon learned that tadpoles were not my friends. Sure I am a 12 foot green skinned regenerating troll armed with a billyclub, but I have now learned to never underestimate the power that is the tadpole. Tadpoles are the #1 cause of death in most Everquest troll pups I hear, the tragedies occuring in their precense is up 28% from last weeks numbers. Now that I am in Everquest, I have dubbed it my personal duty to rid the world of these foul beasts. I don't care if it costs me my own life 19 times every 5 hours (my current death rate), I will purge them from the face of Norrath (Norrath would be their world, the one that I am in now).

To start my life quest, I have mastered the fine arts of the shaman, and found in my possession some scrolls of great power. I am sure they will come in handy when I figure out how to put them into my spellbook, and even moreso when I find my spellbook. Tadpoles I will add, will soak the entire swamplands with their blood when I figure out to attack someone besides my self as well. It looks to be a grand quest. I am proud to announce however that I have managed to raise my swimming 4 points with only 7 instances of drowning while simultaneously being eaten by the vicious tadpole gang - not bad at all. All in all, I'd say my 1st 5 hours in Everquest have been a huge success. I managed to find the bank once, and plan to find it again by next week. Due to the enormous task I have ahead of me, I regret to inform you that there will be no movies released this weekend, as I am addicted to dying repeatedly in Their World - The Land, of Everquest. - Ron

3/26/99

Not much to say tonight, have been busy doing numerous things. Created about 60 frames of art for the 2 movies I hope to have out this weekend, but I am making no promises whatsoever. I received EQ as well and just an account setup, will probably dick around with it a bit this weekend and let you know what I think. As far as the movies are concerned, it is quite possible I have neither out by Sunday, so don't be pissed if not. I am also working Ronald's magery and Med back up to rebegin a little pking I have found myself missing for awhile, Cichlid's character is all set, just got to get up to par with her.

With lack of anything else interesting to post, I decided to post this bit of information that is damned interesting. i know a lot of you, as I did, learned this and much more in High School when on the era of Lincoln, but for the few of you who haven;t heard some of the particulars of the Kennedy/Lincoln thing, check these out. For those of you who have read this and more, re-read I guess. Something to make you say "Wtfman."

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors to the presidency were named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are comprised of fifteen letters.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Kennedy."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln."

Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was with friends in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe

That's it for me, I am am nothing but full of worthless information lately. - Ron

3/24/99

Well folks, just as the rumor states, it is true : The epic quest for the goatee has ended. As of Monday night, Ronald McDonald is no longer pre-pubescent. I'll have a story up with details of course, but it is going to wait until later on this week or possibly the weekend. It just goes to show you what one can achieve when they put 4 months into it. For those of you who said it would never happen, I have a pair of middle fingers outstretched for you.

In addition to doing the UOE movie here this weekend, I also have started on the Sequel to the 1st McDonaldland movie, and if all goes well it will be as good as the first. I won't make any promises as to when it will be posted, but one of the 2 will most definitely be up by late Sunday night.

In Everquest news, my copy of Everquest arrived today, but I was not home to get it, so I will probably have it either tomorrow or a month from now, who knows. Either way, I won't be making a character until Cichlid has received hers. Also, to those of you bitching about Everquest constantly being unplayable due to ISP problems, I have heard Sony is pulling a VERY non-OSI maneuver - they are repaying you 2 weeks of free game time. Considering the game hasn't been released for even 2 weeks yet, I'd say it's a damn nice gesture. They already have Ron's seal of approval for what it's worth. I shant say I remember Origin repaying me for squat, and they damn sure owe me for something. The goatee didn't cover it.

I attended the UO House of Commons meeting last night. There was no set topic, and the sole purpose was for the players to get to know the Game Masters a little better, and to ask them questions that we would find interesting to know. Now, in light of this loose, relaxed, mood that was set, I naturally had a question that seemed interesting enough. My question was "What are the personal views from each GM in attendance on the trials and tribulations that the overworked and underpaid stat-raped murderers must undergo, and their views on PKs as a whole. My reply from the moderator, quoting Ironwill was this : "Ironwill says he 'refuses to answer the question, and that GMs do not have opinions nor souls.' " I found this interesting being it was the whole friggin point of the meeting, maybe it's just me. Now naturally the questions being asked and actually answered were without a doubt the singlemost uninteresting questions any human being could come up with. For instance "If we buy an account, and the person who's account we buy has red marks on his name by the GMs, do those red marks clear, or will we get banned?!?!?!?!?!?!" and then of course "I helped , with a friend of mine, get a PK banned for using a 3rd party program only to find him playing the next day!!!! Why is this?!?!" Those types of questions were answered, interesting ones weren't. Or the "How do you become a counselor?" Now cmon, these questions are answered on the GM and Counselor FAQ on the damned homepage as I learned from Clyde way back when. You ask a straight forward, interesting question, you know, to "get to know your GMs that you have to take it in the ass from every day of the week between 8:00 am and 12:00 am, and you get another of those same "Sorry, we cannot help you with that" answers with a few words subsitituted.

Last but not least, I actually found the fishing patch killer as did the rest of the world - until they "fixed" their mistakes yet again. Why is it, that after EVERY patch that Origin puts in, that they always have to put in fixes. They are so moronic I swear. "Fishing has received a major overhaul, you can do this this this and this and it will rock your fucking nuts." "Oh wait a second, fishing is too powerful, it seems it is rocking people's nuts." "Fishing has received another major overhaul to decrease it's power and make it even more worthless than before." Never thought I'd see the day that Origin would have to patch fishing because it was too good. It's just like the town wars about to be extinct. I swear they put in patches, then months later completely undo them and fuck the game up even more. They get you to the point of liking something, then take it away. Makes me wonder how long this new goatee is going to last. I'm off to play.- Ron

3/22/99

I logged into Abyss for the 1st time last night, check UOEvil for more on that, Greybeard covered it.

All I'd like to add to everyone about all of this EQ crap, is to well, for the love of God, shut up about it. I for one will not be running to Everquest just because "Ultima Sucks." It isn't the great saviour of online gaming, it's just going to be another game to play. As far as everyone's endless whining about their servers being down all the time, "EQ SUCKS, EQ SUCKS" let me remind you that it hasn't even been out for a fucking week people. Anyone remember what UO was like when it was new? I seem to remember not being able to do a god damned thing for nights at a time as well. I remember the timewarps occuring so frequently, and playing for 12 hours at a time just to warp lag 3 hours 4 times a night thus accomplishing nothing whatsoever. Give these people a chance dickheads, the game just hit the shelves. Also what I have heard from a more than reliable source, is that it's their ISP that is the problem, not their servers. Everyone relax with EQ, it's a Sony product for God's sake, you know it's going to be good. Plus always remember that their Development team fucking CAN'T be worse than the the group working for Origin, so I am sure there just might be things later in the game to look forward to. If not, who cares, there's always baking and fishing to be done in UO.

I am currently working with Evilseed creating a UOE movie, when finished it will be put up over at www.uoextreme.com, I am hoping to get it cranked out by next Saturday. As you all know, UOExtreme 6.08 is out and can also be retrieved from that address.

Well with all the ranting and raving about fishing, guess who pulled a hyprocrite and damn sure made one? You got it, that would be me. I got sick of hearing from everyone and their mother about the easy money and numerous rare items, and well, I want 400 metal chests, so what better way to get that than to macro a fisherman. Besides, I am from GA, feeshin' is something I am used to.

Now, this is not to say that I think Origin's priorities aren't out of whack. If I can't PK at the moment being that none of my characters have over 75 magery, I figure I might as well abuse the power of the almighty fisherman. I would also like to add that this newbie character of mine who fished, has gained 40 strength in 1 day. So I believe my murderer Ron might be tossing a bang'o'lure in our bathtub the next few nights.

3/20/99

I have put a New Movie up if you are to view and listen. It is more of a documentary-style flick so don't go expecting to receive graphical wonders. Unless you plan on listening to the music and letting it load fully, there is no sense in viewing it. Was just a little propoganda I had stored in me I suppose. I just knew there was something, that contrary to my statements in the 3/18 update, I was still wanting to complain about.

Finally got around to purchasing Everquest. Ordered it on Back Order so should have it in about 2 weeks. I hear mixed views on the game, but to tell you the truth I don't really trust anyone's opinion on it. Everyone seems to base EQ on UO or the way UO works, so their view is usually biased. For the record, I plan on starting on the pvp shard if you were curious, so you'll know where to find me. I hear though that the game has some kind of gay rule that you cannot have more than one word in your name, nor more than one capital letter...so unless I can come up with a better name I will most likely go with "Ron" or "Ronald." How original. That or Cich and I will go with the classic "Ronaldmcdonald and Cichlidmcdonald," still undecided. Either way I'll be one cool motherfucker.

Cichlid sent me a some jokes and recipes last night that I found damned funny. Thought I'd share a couple of them with you.

Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. 45 volumes Excellent condition.$1,000.00 or the best offer.
No longer needed.

Got married last weekend. Wife knows fucking everything.

Teriyaki Salmon
1 whole salmon, filleted into two pieces, all skin and bones removed.
1/3 cup soya sauce
2-3 tablespoons brown sugar
3 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
6 green onions, chopped
handful sunflower seeds

Mix all ingredients together....marinate salmon for at least 2 hours.... overnight is better. Heat barbeque until hot, turn heat down to medium. Place the salmon on the barbeque, pour the marinade over. Barbeque with flame off under fish, close lid. Cook until the top of the fish looks glazed.

3/18/99

Well the day we were all waiting for has finally come. It took sure took Origin long enough. UOExtreme is done for, and UOAssist and UOP are down for awhile. Now of course this is disappointing, but I have to say that all in all I think I like it like this better. It's just like the days of old in a sense. Personally, though I was a firm believer of the over-use of 3rd party programs, think that the death of 3rd party programs (though temporary I am sure) is a good thing. Something we all have to remember is that now, no one has the advantages or disadvantages, so why is everyone whining and bitching about it? What, is this going to make the roleplaying or the "just" community who didn't agree with the use of 3rd party programs a real threat to those of us who have been eating them for brunch on a daily basis since the beginning of time? Why is everyone complaining? We should all be happy as balls in my opinion. Until UO's first 4th party program is introduced, I hope that the 3rd parties stay dead.

Now of course, this isn't to say that there are certain things that truly suck about the end of them. I am sure that pvp combat has slowed down a notch, but is that really bad? It's bad for upping murder counts, but that's about it. More people will be safely recalling to the alchemist spammed banks free from harm with more regularity, but once again, that's it. Getting gangbanged without the gangbangers possessing the gift of last target is a lot less of a threat than getting gangbanged with no 3rd party progs. Without a doubt. Now all it takes is the soon to be gangbanged guy to run in circles and laugh as the 14 enemy guild hoodlums seem incapable of targeting him. It's true comedy. Also true frustration if you are attempting to murder a guy that's trying to get away from you, but you have to remember, that we are all that guy running away at some point while logged into this game, and the ease of escaping what used to be classified as sure death will be a blessing to us all.

Plus now we can catch magical fish, and whip up some new home furnishings with our froes. It's a great time of rejoice. With the new changes in fishing, I have already had visions of the murderer not so good-fishermen/bards. Find a group of happy young fishermen who have as low of fighting skill as yourself, and then laugh your balls off as the deep sea serpent your wish-you-had-greater-than-33-fishing- skill managed to pull out of the local swimming pool, begins to do a wicked man-eating two step to the tunes of your luxurious new carpentry skill'd tassled tambourine and lap harp while dining on treasure-map hording grandmaster fishermen. I think I'll make a Bardic Fisherman right now. It's going to be the new wave, I am telling you. Or better yet, the Necromantic Shitty Fishermen Bards. God I love this game. Surely can't quit now. They are changing the colors of spells for a new wizard class. What more can we ask for?

New animations for our beds maybe? Other than that I can't really find anything to complain about other than the complete shell of boredom I find myself entrapped in when I log into the game. Surely there's something we can complain about. Maybe I just need to look harder. I'll do that right now. - Ron

3/17/99 Part 2

The Latest Story is up, be sure to have a look see and watch this oversized-ego I carry around develop into a knotty tumor. Join us in Ron and Pals. I have another movie in the makings, I will brief you on that when i work out some kinks in the theme. If Zombie disappointed you, the next one won't. I will assure you of this. Cherub sent us a movie of his own making, titled the Licharena, which if you haven't checked out, can be seen on the root page. It's good stuff. I will fix the Intro short I made with different sounds as soon as I find some better wav's, when i threw that up last night I was half asleep and out of smokes.

Things are starting to shape up here as the 3 of us begin to feel at home here at WTFman. Be sure to hit all of the sites and scenery for a few changes. All of us have updated, so read away. Once again thanks goes out to all of you informing me of problems within the page, I realize I have more strewn about, and I will conquer them when I get a chance. - Ron

3/17/99

Greybeard is now with us full time here at WTFman, everyone be sure to support our oppressed brother. Everyone be sure to read post #4 by myself on the messageboard for messageboard rules and regulations, and go to the main page of wtfman for a piece of news and a short intro movie. The main page is going to be a site you will need bookmarked, as there will be a lot of work put into that section from all 3 of us. That would be just plain www.wtfman.com.

I have a terrific GM Story ready to be posted tonight after work, so be sure to check back in later. Time to hit the sack. - Ron

3/15/99

Let it be known that Greybeard of the UOEvil of old, and now partner with Zander over at the Warcouncil, is possibly rehosting UOEvil here at WTFman provided Nighthawk and I haven't smoked all of the domain space. More on that as it develops. In the event that he does join his evil comrades, I am sure you will all give him a warm welcome followed by some deep throating.

I have been doing a lot of formatting changes, most of which you can't see. One thing I will point out, is to those of you with your fonts set at larger sizes than normal: this page has been fixed to not overlap text regardless of font settings. I haven't yet gotten to the movie pages, but I will be fixing those tomorrow.

The Messageboard has been moved to a new URL, so if your bookmarks point to the old messageboard, be sure to update them. I am going to take this moment to ask you to read my post on the new rules, as they are ones the more intelligent crowd should appreciate. The Buttons menu has been fixed and now points to the newer correct URLs. There should be 0 linking problems within the site now. If you come across any, please let me know.

I have been working on a new Ronald McDonald, and have somewhat revived my desire to play this god forsaken game. Go figure this happens on the release dte of EQ - which I will also be playing. To answer any questions you might have - No, the original Ron is not through, he just well, requires quite a bit of macroing to get him back into murdering shape. Yes - This site will contain Everquest news on top of UO-related news once I buy the game. I will not be buying the the game for a few more weeks however. Yes - I will be doing EQ movies. As a matter of fact, I can't wait. Yes - I am pathetic for not quitting UO. Since when has anyone been able to. UO just hangs like a fart in the shower. Everyone rejoice. I am sure the Dev Team is. They just love me according to Dr. Twister. -Ron

3/12/99

The site has been partially moved, some links and images are probably fucked up, deal with it, I have to get out of town tonight here very shortly. The new movie is up, View it if you wish, but know that I personally can't stand the fucker, because I am so god damned sick of looking at it and screwing with it. If you think it sucks, join the crowd. This messageboard that I currently have will probably be taken down here by early next week, but until we are completely moved in and organized I'll leave it up. A lot of things are going to be changing around here. Be looking forward to it. I know I am. I'm gone until Sunday. In the meantime, go spend time over at the other section of the new wtfman.com, The Joy of Villainy. URL is www.wtfman.com/jov/ where as I am www.wtfman.com/mcd/ Not a tough process. When Night and I get together next week, we'll have the main address fancied up for you so you can feel at home here with us.

Until Monday. - Ron

3/10/99

Big news here this evening. For those of you who currently frequent this site, I will ask that you too forward the following information as you see it here to all of your closest and dearest friends and family. Better yet, just forward this page to all of them and tell them it's important news that they must read. Or both. Hell I don't care, just so long as they get the picture. Nighthawk of the Joy of Villainy and I, will be moving to much greener pastures. We have purchased the domain www.wtfman.com, and will be transfering our sites to our new home. I would like to add that the newsgroup had nothing to do whatsoever with this decision we reached, it was merely a reached due to desire for a place we can call home. We also of course just want to hear you say "wtf?" Now I know you are thinking to yourself, wtf, wtfman? Wtf is that? Well, we know wtf. Because we're like that. Now It is also very important to understand that we have many new things planned for cheesedicks like yourself. Let this be considered as the 1st ad campaign. What you want, we're going to have. Everyone should be as excited as we are. Hell I can't stop whacking at myself. You should be doing likewise. Spread the good word my loyal acolytes, your lives are never going to be the same.

In the meantime, let it be known I will be in Ohio this weekend, and my site will not be updated. Now I know I am the king of hype, and the king of let downs, but I am hoping I will have the movie up before I leave. I have an assload of work to do on it, you have no idea how tedious what I am working on is. It will be worth the wait though, so stick it out, continue whacking,and just think wtf where's our movie man. You will be entertained my children, trust me. Until then, don't zip it up. -Ron

3/9/99

Well folks, I am a living, well now living, was a dead example, of how nice the Red Life can be. Let's show a bit of a before and after. Previous to being red, my skills are on the left. The Right reflects afterward.

Woohoo, let's hear it for the home team. -Ron

3/8/99

The Links page has been completely redone, and all Links on the page should now be working correctly. Please have a look see, and if you feel there are any good sites out there that I have overlooked, drop me an E-Mail and/or post on the board and I'll plug it in when time allows. Another thing I'd like to mention is that it has come to my attention from more than 3 sources that the site has overlaying text and images that cover up a lot of the page. Make sure in your browser's preferences that you have fonts set at Medium (or smaller) size or everything will look like shit. But then again it could just look like shit. But I don't like to think that.

I seriously doubt the White Zombie flick is going to be up tomorrow, just letting you know. I had a headache all day, and though I stayed home from work, sitting at the computer was the last thing I felt like doing. So slept till 2:00 and I cleaned dishes. And I did some of the 800 half-ton bushels of laundry I had been denying for about four months. Oh yeah, I bathed too. Damn do I smell clean. There's a first time for everything. Other than reeking of Marlboro, my clothes smell damned fresh too. Can you believe that? Well, it's true. The truth hurts doesn't it.

I think I heard there was a patch today? It has been so long since I logged in that I couldn't find my 'Shortcut to Ultima Online' on this fucked up desktop of mine. Matter of fact, I am still looking for it. If you have any information regarding the location of my missing UO shortcut, please E-Mail me. I'll give a hefty reward. Also if you feel so inclined, I'll let you forward me any info on the patch. Nice of me isn't it. You, yes you, can be my bitch for a day. I charge $9.95 for monthly employment. Free of charge if you can find my UO shortcut. I think I'll leave you with the following statement my Mommy E-Mailed me.

National Science Foundation announced the following study results on Corporate America's recreation preferences: 1. Sport of choice for maintenance level employees: BOWLING 2. Sport of choice for journeyman level workers: FOOTBALL 3. Sport of choice for supervisors: BASEBALL 4. Sport of choice for middle management: TENNIS 5. Sport of choice for corporate officers/upper management: GOLF.

CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls.

Like I said. The truth hurts doesn't it.-Ron

3/7/99

I cleaned the site up a little bit, will probably redo the Links page tomorrow, and I might go way out on a limb and actually log in as well. I am not sure if I am ready to break my two consecutive weeks of no UO though. If I play UO, the movie will be delayed longer than the note below states. All links on this page should be correct now, and the stories were cleaned up. If there are any problems still, please E-Mail me.

I regret to inform those of you who were interested that this weeks Movie has been delayed a day or possibly two. Flash decided it doesnt want to play the same movie the same way each time you play it, so I have been having a rough time getting everything to look correctly. Everything in this movie has to be in sync or it will not look half as good. Maybe now some newsgroup can sue me for false advertising. I better call my lawyer. Sorry for the delay, just keep watching for it. - Ron

3/5/99

I have been getting a little bit accomplished on my next movie attempt, yet bear in mind the date could of course be pushed back due to the extremely tedious task I have ahead of me trying to do what I am going to do. It looks to be pretty good in my eyes, but we'll see how it turns out. In the meantime, to those who care, here's a flyer, go toss it around. I would like to also take this time to thank everyone for the tremendous amount of support I have received on the site, all assholing aside, it's good to know I am capable of providing entertainment of sorts to those who enjoy it. I'm out. - Ron

3/4/99

Down with OPP? "No, fuck you."

It seems apparently I have managed to gain the love, respect, and valued opinions from a certain newsgroup community that goes by the name rec.games.computer.ultima.online, Greek to me, but perhaps some of you may have heard of it or what not. Anyway, this special squad of enraged Brittanian hemroidal tailors are attempting to form a diabolical scheme which would mean certain death for the Sinister Ronald McDonald and leave his real living Avatar, Jason, nothing more than a penniless pauper with no web page thus creating an even larger and more time consuming period of auto fellation for everyone's favorite egotistical smartass Britannian anti-hero. I.E., they feel like creating an even more looked down upon image for themselves while attempting to take certain aspects existing only in the game we all love to hate yet still play, across the hazey Britannian borders into that realm which is known only as "real life." I will First leave you some of the choice posts of this newsgroup so that you can get a feel for the characters involved before you make your opinions on judging the story for what it's worth. Now of course, bear in mind folks, that these are real people. Names were not excluded to protect the innocent. People do honestly, as shocking as it seems, post the likes of what you are about to read. I of course will give my opinion after we hear their side of the story. We also will have real IRC coverage and opinions from everyone's Origin favorite GM Lonestar. But let's not let all of the cats out of my fat sack just yet.

Down with Ronald McDonald

Author: Darius of Baja avatar@dhc.net Date: 1999/03/01 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Hollow/6809/ This guy's site is blatently offensive to anyone, but extremely offensive to UO players. I have submitted three violations to GeoCities in the past few weeks. It's still up and I haven't heard anything from them. I call upon the newsgroup to help me out. Please take a few minutes to go here, http://www.geocities.com/main/info/company/contact/alert_form.html , fill out the form with Ronald's above URL and submit it. If enough people complain, they'll have to look at it. Thank you in advance. -- The Honorable Darius, guildmaster for Ring of Steel, Baja http://members.xoom.com/RingofSteel

Author: Drake drake@nospam.org Date: 1999/03/02 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online done deal, got mine in this guy is a scumbag of the 10th magnitude.

Re: Down with Ronald McDonald (Baja) Author: Brandy noone@nowhere.com Date: 1999/03/02 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online Why don't you just forward the url to McDonald's legal department. I'm sure they would love to see it. Brandy (SBR, LS).

Re: Down with Ronald McDonald (Baja) Author: Alex Mars alexmars@aol.com Date: 1999/03/03 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online Direct and to the point. Too bad it's too late for that. McPlastics takes a dim view of people screwing with their image.

Re: Down with Ronald McDonald (Baja) Author: Drasten Drasten@L.S Date: 1999/03/03 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online On Tue, 2 Mar 1999 18:58:58 -0600, "Malikhi" nunya@biz.com wrote: [snips a stimulating discussion on the subject of free speech] Hiya! I have no idea who Ronald McDonald on Baja is, but thanks to your wonderful post, I'll send the good folks at McDonald's the url myself. Despite your vast amount of knowledge, foresight, and your massive intellectual presence, it's time for you to meet Mr. Killfile. I'm sure you two will get along. -Drasten, TNO

Re: Down with Ronald McDonald (Baja) Author: Drake drake@nospam.org Date: 1999/03/03 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online Is this the same site that had a cute little animation of a gm doing what appears to be a blow-job on old Ronald himself? You gotta be shittin' me. OH! I almost forgot - his latest artistic endeavor was a cute movie of a char ebolting - specifically - gm tree frog - into next week. Now that I thought was funny ;-) He's obviously pissed with UO (his 'fuck the game' line comes to mind) and has chosen geocities as his forum. Oops! eheheheheh I'd like to meet him in RL, I'm certain I wouldn't piss on his heart if it was on fire.

"I'm certain I wouldn't piss on his heart if it was on fire." - Drake

Re: Down with Ronald McDonald (Baja) Author: Drake drake@nospam.org Date: 1999/03/03 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online Okay, if ol' ron's page is an excercise in free speech, we'll just call my foot in his ass an excerise in freedom of expression. My bet on redrum's hero, ronald mcdonald,...convicted child rapist with a web page. In my state they're required to register their presence with the local authorities. the web page works fine to that end I suppose.

"...we'll just call my foot in his ass an excerise in freedom of expression." - Drake

Re: Down with Ronald McDonald (Baja) Author: Jack Benny tasty@fish.sandwiches Date: 1999/03/04 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online Ron is a great example of what's wrong with UO. He's a quakehead in a RPG - a fish out of water if you will. The problem is that there are so many of these fish out of water in UO that it's starting to stink to high heaven. Like it or not there is a war going on here. Many of us want to see games develop to the next level. We want to see some really neat things develop. But if users like Ron insist on importing their gamestyle from other games or from RL into a fantasy setting they should expect resistance from those of us who want more than just another setting to gank someone in. There are plenty of those around, and personally there are so many that the market is boring as shit now. I dont want to see that happen to Multi-player RPGs. So you take the fight to any level you can. His right to spout the crap he does on his site also gives me the right to oppose it. Like it or not it's within anyone elses constitutional right to say that what someone else is saying or doing is wrong. That's how we make laws - when the voice of one becomes the voice of many. And I'm sorry but the vocal minority which would be Ron and his minions (according to DD's analysis - I posted the link yesterday) are the ones that are going the way of the Dodo. There's a big difference in someone finding what you say and do offensive and intentionally being offensive to piss people off. Jack.

Ok this guy was a smart one, I find myself fearing his intelligence. I must have killed him once. Fortunately for me his linguistic skills, though superior to my own, can be picked apart and discarded as the horse caca that it is. Mr. Ed, when he had peanut butter covering his gums, seemed like he was really speaking to Wilbur back in the day. Had alot of people fooled too. Read on. We'll get back to Jack.

Date: 1999/03/03 Author: Zach Lynch ZMLynch@hotmail.com Date: 1999/03/03 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online I saw your name mentioned on his website as his buddy in a 2 on 2 fight. You know him? Also, I was pleased to notice that his little GM is gone now. Now, all we have to do is get him for copyright infringement. I also noticed he has an offer to trade bootleg CDs and tapes, so I reported him to Geocities for that. Want to see something funny? He has pictures of himself on his website. All we think about kewldoods is true...

Author: Jack Benny tasty@fish.sandwiches> Date: 1999/03/04 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online Richard Cortese wrote: BUT this is the point I want you to get: Ron uses every trick, exploit, cheap tactic he can in game to screw with people. The GMs do nothing about it. BUT GUESS WHAT!!! People can screw with him & his web page! People that don't like to PK in UO LOVE to PK on web pages! Mr. Ron is about to get his azz handed to him IMO. Let's see how he likes it. Yep that's excactly it. OSI doesnt give us much room for retaliation against Quakeheads in the game. You cant beat them - all you can do is delay them. But out here the rules and laws are set by real people and have real penalties. If he wants to act like the same immature brat out here where we can stomp on his dick for doing so.. then that's his problem (and mistake for thinking he's untouchable). Jack

Woops, someone lost their linguistic skills there. So much for Mr. Ed. Now let's look at the complete post from his buddy Rich, their case is oh so credible. I'll just take my highlighter and bold some things that I personally liked.

Author: Richard Cortese ricortes@netmagic.net> Date: 1999/03/04 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online But Ron was always a cheat & exploiter from day one. Right now, he has a wisp trapped in one of his houses so he can get free magic resist. Did I call a GM on him? No, I really do care what he does, he is just not worth the bother for me to waste 10 minutes waiting for a GM to come and delete his wisp. BUT this is the point I want you to get: Ron uses every trick, exploit, cheap tactic he can in game to screw with people. The GMs do nothing about it. BUT GUESS WHAT!!! People can screw with him & his web page! It is just a tit for tat kind of thing. i.e. You screw with me in the game, I screw with your web page. Get it? It has nothing to do with a sense of outrage at immorality or copyright infringement or free speech. The guy put himself in a vulnerable position just like the macroing miners he kills in UO, except he did it on a web page. People that don't like to PK in UO LOVE to PK on web pages! Mr. Ron is about to get his azz handed to him IMO. Let's see how he likes it.

Statement: did you know, that in my entire life in Ultima Online, I have never once had a wisp trapped in my house? Did you know, that the only time I have killed a macroer in my life was going to help Xander (an anti with Pearl - big time enemy at the time) with a problem at his tower with Japanese looters trying to get in and, thinking the guy walking around upstairs was one of the looters, who was in reality just macroing walking around using some skill, I ended up waxing Xander's Roomate thinking I was doing a good deed? Did you know the only exploit Ron is fond of is UOE, unlike the every trick, exploit, cheap tactic this guy claims I use. Did you know, that this guy here, like the rest of them, cannot differentiate between life outside of a game and life inside of a game? Since I kill him in game, he is going to fuck with me outside of it. Good luck buddy. Let's continue. Onto the last one we go. I love the next one.

Author: Drake sandman@No_spamcet.com Date: 1999/03/03 Forum: rec.games.computer.ultima.online PS - I don't care if ronnie invented freakin java scripting, his page offends and he's been dealt with, end of story...you may be able to get away with that bullshit in UO, but not in the real world baby, you will be bitch slapped down again and again....so get ready - it's gonna be a rough ride!

What I think.

There are so many posts like the ones I pasted here, they just go on and on. All senseless babble. Now granted I am sure my thoughts here will be discarded after being classified as senseless babble, but you came to my page to get it, so evidently you care enough about my opinion. I'll be quite honest with you. These guys, literally, had me shitting on myself with fear for the future. According to Drake in the above post, Ron has been dealt with, and it's going to be a rough ride. Well, I am going to show you exactly how rough my ride has been. And lemee tell ya, it doesn't get any smoother on my non-goateed ass. First off, let's see what Geocities recently sent me regarding their efforts. Let's have a look see.

Dear jarobe, Here are your most recent GeoGuide impression statistics. For every qualified visit to a page in your site with a GeoGuide on it, you earn one GeoTicket. GeoTickets are sweepstakes tickets for our monthly drawing. You will receive this report semi-monthly so you can see how many GeoTickets you have earned towards the GeoGuide Sweepstakes.

Period covered: February 16 - 28, 1999 Qualified Impressions for Area51/Hollow/6809: 9005 GeoTickets earned this period: 9005 GeoTicket balance: 15027

Boy I tell ya, Geocities sure does keep track of the hits I get. Think they are going to toss a site bringing them in hits from hell? I highly doubt it. It's business afterall. Hell, if Geocities wants to dump me, you think I am going to be offended even if they did? I am good to Geocities, they are good to me. I actually, contrary to many's belief, set this site up strictly for learning HTML and getting to know the web a lot better. If something I do here has been offensive to anyone, offensive enough to get me banned, it would surely have come up previous to now in this sites now 3 month existence. (I ran it as the Malagent's site back from Sept. 1 - Dec.). I know for a fact Geocities' admins have been here, yet I am still here. Oh what a rough ride. If they asked me to tone shit down, I'd do so, or I'd move to another site. Big fucking deal. These guys even cry to GMs, asking why on earth they let "problem players" like me continue to play the game. Well I'll tell you something, probably because it is snivelling whiny tailors like this group of individuals who have branded me a problem player. I'll show you exactly how much the GMs (who were the ones who should be offended after all, it was them doing the cock-sucking) really gave a shit. Let's hear from GM Lonestar , logged from a UOHOC conversation earlier this year. Here ya go newsgroup, eat your fucking heart out.

*** Log file opened: 1/14/98 6:25:09 PM

[18:25] > how about making it where a person who is para'd cannot defend himself with weapons, nor drink potions. He is paralyzed. It should prevent all movement. Doesnt make much sense to para a guy, just to have him gladly sit still shooting you with his heavy x, or swinging at you with his sword.

[18:28] <GM_Lonestar>Hey, is this the real Ronald McDonald with the webpage with a GM.. umm.."entertaning" Ronald McDonald?

[18:30] > Heh. Ya. After Carnox's visit though I decided it might be best to um...take it down though.

[18:32] <GM_Lonestar> Hahaha. Well, we LOVED it, though. And I couldn't figure out why one of the supervisors was laughing his head off one day. I go over and he is reading your page. He said, "Man, I LOVE the way this guy writes". :)

[18:32] <GM_Lonestar> But that's ok. We all have a pretty good sense of humor. Except about repeated pages on the same thing. ;P All right, let me answer question, though.

[18:33] > ok

[18:33] > Well actually I have never paged for the specific reason of getting hair except maybe once or twice. Sure would like a goateee though. But as you figured, it's more for humor than actually "getting" the hair

[18:35] <GM_Lonestar> The paralyze idea is a very, very good idea. I can totally see what you mean. Its one of those things that you would probably have to post a lot on Crossroads and other sites so DD would read it. They have a LOT of stuff on their plate right now (the program/design team).

[18:35] > ya but man, they never listen to me, it always gets spammed to the bottom. u know, typical shit so everyone can talk about "i sell GM stuff" I also think that well, the crippling of stealing is really going to hurt UO. You are destroying a whole class when it is UOE that is the problem, not the skill.

[18:39] <GM_Lonestar> Yes, but I do know the answer to that one. Right now, the number one complaint far and away by other players, and this is like REALLY far and away number one. Is anti-social behavior such as player killing and stealing. Basically, the majority of people playing UO hate people who mess with them. You know that we obviously have no problem with PKing and stealing because we put them in the game. And yet, at the same time...

[18:40] > hmmm

[18:40] <GM_Lonestar> We HAVE to listen to the majority of the player base. If they are upset about something, then we have to address it. Now the hard part is finding a way to keep the skill/profession alive, while making people happy at the same time. Trust me, design team doesn't want to kill

[18:40] > just business I suppose

[18:40] <GM_Lonestar> anything that's a part of Ultima Online. Just have to strike a good balance.

[18:40] <GM_Lonestar> Oops, I'm holding up a meeting... gotta hit it.

[18:40] > I think all it needs is to where a thief cannot have a weapon equipped to steal

[18:41] <GM_Lonestar> Hey, again, you're a very good writer. :) We really dug the site. :)

[18:41] > heh

[18:41] > i keep it updated regularly

[18:41] <GM_Lonestar> Good luck with everything! A true pleasure to talk to you. Its like I've talked to someone famous. :)

[18:41] GM_Lonestar bows

[18:41] > heh

[18:41] > later

Now I gotta tell you,when posting and doing the things on the site that I have been doing, the only real question that came to mind was if Origin would disagree with it, because well, it is their images that are really being distorted, or that are that are the ones being made the fools of. I mean seriously, you think McDonalds is going to be pissed off that a picture of Ronald McDonald is getting blown? Hell, it'll probably be in their next commercial. It was a display of love and affection through oral means, which is certainly something that can be taught to young children. I follow the same values as Andrew Dice Clay... when he said, during a required Saturday "porno night", "Hey Nails, see how she just slowly cradles his balls? I mean, she really digs him. It's a beautiful loving ting." or the likes, and well, an image of Ronald McDonald getting blown just shows affection, and who better to give that affection than a GM, who is looked upon as being the law making/law abiding important officials in our UO society? Who said the GM was male in the 1st place? Actually, the GM was just bowing to Ronald McDonald, only a fucking pervert would see something else in that. You all, yes all of you, should be ashamed of yourselves. I don't recall the "sucking" animation of a GM in Inside UO. I did however see "Counselor, Bow, Up" though. So I just recolored the robes. He was bowing people. Bowing. If any of you saw something different, you are demented in the head.and should smack yourself for thinking that way.

I took the image of the GM down, not because I was asked to, but why? Because the file was too big, and I accidentally deleted the frames of the GM gif animation I formed and was too lazy to make another.

This update , as I scroll up a long way, has gotten just a tad bit long, so i think I am going to have to let their posts speak for themselves, they come across as hypocritical morons well enough on their own for me to translate with my Rufus Decoder Ring. Thanks Dennis, I'll just take that line. Did everyone notice how these mature individuals seemed to just make all these assumptions and libel on the player behind Ronald McDonald as if they know me so god damned well? I have done something so terrible in a game that if my heart were on fire the guy wouldn't piss on it? What, Drake, you going to bring your ass to Oakland and shove your foot up my ass because I don't like the clothes you make everyday in a game? Going to stomp on my dick Jack? All I have to say to the newsgroup, is try to be just a little bit more mature, this is only a game after all, it is clear that you have vendetta for things that should only be considered or only thought of inside the boundaries of a fucking game. I am not a god, nor have I ever stated I was with the exception of uttering it in blatant sarcasm. If I am a god at all, it is because the likes of you have elevated me to that position. If you want to get personal, pursue your little hopeless court case, and hopefully spend a lot of the loose change you have sitting in your little piggy banks waiting to be flushed down the toilet. You will get nowhere, as just as your posts to the group indicate, you are not seeking any form of justice, you are just pissy because you can't roleplay as well as Athos De'Estas.

Fuck with me, I want you to. My Uncle's Sister's Grandma's Neice is the new 20 year old 6'0 150 pound blonde Victoria's Secret panty model who just got an Intern position at the White House. Or, you can turn off your monitors, jerk yourself off really good, and head to bed and forget about UO for a good 8 hours.

I'll still be here, at Geocities, with my images of Ronald McDonald. This is the 90's, everyone loves blow jobs. Get in the game. Better yet, go get blown. You could seriously use the experience to add to your repetoir. Remember when petitioning to have me rafting down the Ocmulgee River underwater tied to a big fat chicken liver, make sure your petition, while consisting of the 20 you have that sign it, match that magic number 68000 that would be equivalent to the number of people who come here because they want to.

Good Luck -Ron

3/3/99

Well I was going to update and fill everyone in on the situation regarding the newsgroup who's aim is "let's get Ron banned from geocities and sued by McDonalds," but I instead began creating some .gif frames I will be using in my next movie this weekend, and of course I had to find time to spank it. To those interested I have included an image of the soon to be star of the show, and perhaps it will indicate the music to be used. Let's have a look at Rob himself. The rest of the band, well, you'll have to wait. This weekends movie will also be co-starring the famous GM Clyde hailing from Austin Texas, who is making his 2nd debut here at McDonaldland. It's sure to be a smash . No really, I mean it. -Ron

3/1/99

I have been fooling around with the button schemes a good bit, I would appreciate it greatly if you would Email me if there are any problems with them that you come across. Particularly if the sound is out of synch. I am trying to clean up the site, I am running out of space here at Geocities and I have noticed that I have an incredible amount of worthless shit dotted throughout pages, so I am taking out the trash. I realize there are some broken links, I will fix them tomorrow at some point, as I haven't finished cleaning up the html files. I will most likely be taking down the current logo soon as well, as the file is a little larger than I'd like.

To all who have E-mailed me with questions and/or statements, and especially to those who have sent in
mail regarding the bootlegs, I am not ignoring you, I have just been really busy, and I assure you will follow up as soon as I am able. I am going to make a rants section from one of the jack shit links here shortly, so to those of you who have submitted one, I will most likely post it when I form the page. I know I have gotten a few. Once again, I am not ignoring you. So don't get bent out of shape.

I would once again like to add that I have never, and will never, log into Abyss. Baja is enough for me. Maybe that answers a few questions I receive at least 3 times a day. I haven't even played on my own shard for a week now, and with trying to learn Flash 3, I haven't had the desire to log in. The desire is coming back though however, there's only so long one can go without taking pictures of corpses. Besides, I think I am supposed to try for 1000 kills or something. I am getting behind schedule.

Just to keep you informed of what's in store for the near future, I have been preparing for a new movie, and hope to have it on the site by this Sunday or early next week. With what i have planned, it is sure to be better than the 1st one. In the meantime, the rest of the existing site is going to be undergoing changes, so be sure to look around here in the next couple of days. For those of you unable to get Shockwave who visit the site, I will be preparing alternate pages for you so you can get around. At the moment you can't really. Sorry, but you need to get a new browser anyway.

I will leave you with a screenshot I received from a Spawn that I found quite humorous. - Ron

I called a GM saying I couldn't find a way in this house in the middle of the
hedge maze cause it didn't have any door! And then GM Treefrog yelled at me and hurt my feelings!